Myles has had a loose tooth for several weeks. So loose in fact that the new tooth has grown in behind it and is sticking out behind the baby one. Thursday night we were eating dinner and he bit down on it and it hurt him and started bleeding. I tried to talk him into letting me pull it but he wasn't having it. (He is just like I was.) My boyfriend Zach and I told him that he needs to wiggle it with his tongue all the time and it will eventually fall out.

So today I was doing dishes and the boys were playing somewhere in the back of the house. Myles comes running into the kitchen yelling "Mom, mom!" I turned around to see what he was so excited about and he said "Damon elbowed me in the mouth and my tooth fell out!" Sure enough, he was holding his tiny little baby tooth in his hand! We all laughed about it for a minute, then I had to get Damon in trouble for elbowing Myles in the face. But the tooth came out successfully with no tears and not even any blood. Yay for little ornery brothers! Talk to you all later.

Sarah

I'm writing today to regretfully tell you that baby Parker went to be with Jesus on Dec 30th while his mommy and daddy held him. He lived for 11 days at St Louis Children's Hospital. The doctors tried their best to make his little heart work but God had other plans for Parker. His funeral was this morning and while it was short, the preacher had a great message of hope and comfort for his parents Adam and Heather.

So that is the factual information. Here's how I feel. It was unbelievably hard to go to that funeral. To see that precious baby lying there in that tiny coffin and his little stuffed animals there next to him. And even as I type that my eyes well up with tears from the guilt I'm feeling. Guilt that I would even be able to focus on how hard it is for me when I look over and see his parents holding each other as they bury their only child. Guilt that I have two boys and they don't even have one. Guilt that my baby with HLHS lived and is doing well while theirs didn't even make it to two weeks old. I just can't understand it. It's not fair and I don't know how to reconcile it in my head. I understand that God is working his plan and that He is still in control but I don't always like His plan. Why do some children make it and some don't. Why do people like that have to struggle to even get pregnant and then when they do their baby has to have a serious heart condition and then he doesn't even make it. I just don't understand. I got to Lacey's to pick up Damon and I just am so greatful that he is here and healthy that I have to just hold him and sob and yet I feel so guilty. I want to make it all better for all of them. I don't feel worthy to have him sometimes, espcially today, and I think about how frustrating he can be and it makes me just want to give him anything and everything he wants because at least he is alive. I don't know how to handle this at all. I have read about many heart kids that didn't make it but it's harder this time because I have met these people and know them.

Please pray for Adam and Heather and their families. Pray that the Holy Spirit will be present with them every minute to comfort and hold them.